Diary of a second wife!

if you read my entry from start to end - then don't start calling me names. It is you who need to be judged and not me. I live the life of a second wife - I'm the caviar he comes looking for when he needs fine dining. But, I'm often left alone - finding solace in my own imagination. But, the waiting is well worth it - he blasts me off everytime he comes ( pun intended ).

Wednesday 11 April 2007

beware!

a girl friend of one of anita's friends suggested that i go see a "bomoh". To non malay speakers, a "bomoh" is similar to a faith healer, supposedly.
let me call anita's girl friend minah ( not real name ) related her own experience. she went to see this bomoh because she was depressed when her ex-boyfriend dumped her. according to her, the bomoh helped her to find inner peace. according to her also, the bomoh used religious rites - what ever that means!

perhaps i was desperate. perhaps i was curious. but i went against my instinct and asked minah to take me to the bomoh, far away beyond hulu langat.

we left about 6pm, and she drove while anita was in the front passenger seat and i was in deep thought about nothing at the back. i must have fallen asleep, because when anita woke me up we were already in front of a wooden house surrounded by trees, in a village. the whole area was quite dark, despite the house being quite near to the road and being lit by fluorescent lamp.

after the normal greetings led by minah, we settled on some worn out sofas.
the bomoh was no where to be seen, and according to the wife he was praying, as it was maghrib time. the knowledge that he was praying somewhat gave me confidence and calmed me down a bit. minah was right when she said the guy was religious, i thought to myself.
anita and minah tried to make small talk with the wife. i simply was talking with myself, to myself, about myself. i had doubt about the whole thing. perhaps i am too modern, but i was just not convinced that a bomoh can solve my problem. and i wasn't even sure what my problem was in the first place.
but, minah seemed to think that my problem was that rick's first wife have casted a spell of black magic onto me. anita told me to give it a try, "afterall, u hv nothing to lose" she said.

after about 30 minutes of waiting, the wife suddenly asked me to enter a room. i hesitated, and motioned to anita to follow me.
"masuk sorang" said the wife. (it means "enter alone" )
anita held my hand and assured me that everything will be okey.
minah just smiled.

i entered a room - dim and lit only by a kerosine lamp. and 'he' was sitted on a yellow pillow against a wall. the room was filled with smell of something that reminded me of indian temple. he asked me to close the door, and lie down on my back on the matress in front of him. i was scared and simply obeyed as told.
that was the last i remember - until it was too late.
when i woke up from what seemed like a long sleep, my nipples and private part were hurting.
'he' reminded me not to say anything to anyone about my pain as "bad thing" will happen if i do.
i cried. i realized what had happened.
then he gave me water to drink.
i drank.
then i felt calm and relax. like magic, i was feeling like i was floating.
the pain dissappeared.
then i became talkative and merry, asking him what had happened, and what was my problem?
he simply told me that 'something, like a bad spirit' was passing by and decided to enter my body. something i should not worry about. 'he' gave me a bottle of mineral water which he asked me to drink everytime i felt depressed, sad or anxious.
then, he told me i had to pay him rm999 as "pengkeras" ( i dont even know how to translate this word ). i told him, i did not have that much. he said then i don't have to pay - but i have to promise not to tell anyone about my pain. the pain was because he had to remove the 'bad spirit' by surgery "batin" ( spritual surgery ) which he had operated.

we left the house with me singing away in the car. anita was happy to see the change in me. minah was proud that she had helped me.
i was singing to avoid having to talk, to answer their questions and to explain what had happened. I needed time to think through about the whole experience.
after a few songs, i cried. i sobbed. anita thought i was overwhelmed because my problem had dissappeared. minah thought the same. then i sang again. i sang sharifah aini's "bunga tanjung".
how on earth i could remember the lyrics at that instant really puzzled me, but i sang like a pro.
anita clapped hands when i finished. i just smiled and said i wanted to relax for the rest of teh journey. they both left me to be with myself.

that was like 36 hours ago. now i can see clearly what has happened.
i have discarded the bottle of mineral water.
i have decided not to talk to anyone who knows me about the experience.
but i have decided to write an entry about it.
even anita does not know.
and fortunately, anita does not know my blog.

friends, beware of 'bomoh'. sorry, i will qualify that - beware of some 'bomoh'.
there are good 'bomoh' i think. but, the best way is to really do your homework to find a really good and trustworthy one.

now, i am anxiously waiting for my next menses. i hope it comes per schedule. otherwise i could not bear to think - what do i do with "the bomoh's" baby. the thought of another abortion makes me shivers. i will wait, and hope for the best. hope......is there still hope?
perhaps, the answer will come when i am faced with the problem.
perhaps, life ain't worth living anyway.
perhaps, those people who makes fun of my predicament will have a good reason to laugh amongst themselves - aha serves her right!, they would say.
perhaps, there are already many of the "bomohs" babies being discarded in drains and in rubbish dumps by many unsuspecting girls like minah and myself.
perhaps, this is punishment for me.

tonight, i am sane when i am writing this entry.
perhaps tomorrow i will be sane no more - and all my worries will dissappear.

if i do go insane,
please may someone copy this entry and send it around to others as a warning and reminder - not all that glitters is gold.
that, 'madu' is sweet but can also be very bitter.
a reminder to always be careful not matter what - trust only yourself and your instinct.
our instint is the gift for us from those who loved us but who have left this world before us. they were guiding us to do the right thing by giving us "instincts".

Saturday 7 April 2007

I need a man...


(the photo of anita has been deleted - on the advise of a blogger friend.
The above photo is of me.)


I have been having an emotional roller coaster since the divorce. On one side of the swing I celebrated freedom, on the other I was missing 'him'. What about him I was missing, even I don't know for certain.A few male friends from the past got to know about my sudden 'free' status have called to ask me out. But nearly always, no matter how well they tried to disguise, they sounded only interested and keen for a quick shag. Dammit! What is it about Malaysian men which make them smell 'un-attached' cunts from hundreds of miles away?. And what make them to assume that we women are so desperate to have their rods in between our legs?
I have this message to you guys who want to date me for a fuck - Get lost!

Date me if you want to know me, to keep me company, and to share one or two jokes to make me smile and even better - laugh.A man who can tickle my funny bone - is a man who has a good chance to tickle other parts of me.

For now, I find solace in the company of Anita. She and I have done many more things together - the list includes, showering together and on a lazy weekend would even share a bath of deadsea salt together, dinner together, going to movies together, hiking up the Bukit Gasing and ocassional we even sleep until morning together.
In my mood swing, Anita has been there to wipe my tears away.

But I need a man......

Friday 30 March 2007

Finally!


Finally, he said it. Finally I got what I wanted. Finally he got what he has been wanting for sometimes.
And soon after he said it, we went into a wild embrace and wild passionate kisses which ended in illegimate sexual encounters between an ex-wife and an ex-husband.But the forbidden love made it exciting. My body trembled with intense pleasure. Waves after waves of orgasms threw me into spasm. And he gritted his teeth and kept on pumping hard into me. It was like he wanted to punish me. But instead of pain, I was punished with intense pleasure. His dick hard, his torso tightened and his face in a wicked grimaced. When I screamed for mercy, asking him to come - he unloaded with scream. He was screaming my name. He was screaming love, undying love for me.
But, just over an hour ago he divorced me. He said his Talak!

Sex after the divorce was the best I have had for the whole of our married life. It reminded me of sex with him when we used to meet secretly - him cheating on his wife and I was his willing partner in sin.

It was when he saw marks on my neck, not ones left by him, that he got into jelous frenzy and asked me to marry him. So Anita had a role in our marriage.
I have asked my best friend to leave me a love bite exactly to get his attention. He was taking me, my sex for granted.
It was one of the weirdest moment when Anita planted that love bite on my neck....the feeling was weird. It was scary because i felt a shuuder in the most private part of my anatomy. The woman in me reacted positively to Anita's suction action on my neck....and when I told that to Anita, she blushed. She confessed that she too felt strange and tingly.

Anita has been my constant companion during the period of sorrow post the abortion.
We have spent many nights together - cuddled up in bed, talking about our own private agonies - only to always ended up satisfied, with pussy taste on our mouth.

Rick divorced me after he caught me red-handed in bed with Anita.
Anita too had a role in our divorce.

Perhaps, it was meant to be. The last wild sexual act with Rick was our goodbye...

Since yesterday, I am officially a janda! And guess what? I have never felt happier....
Anita and I will move in together - once we find a suitable nest.
We have decided to go into an open, free relationship. Which means she and I are free top date any man we want, but we will always be more than good friends when we are back to our own nest. And the nest itself, will be out bound to any man.

Sunday 11 March 2007

Black days

I was admitted to hospital. At first for Dengue. Then while in there, the doctor broke the news to me - I was pregnant. I was thrilled, but only temporarily. When Rick knew about the pregnancy, he insisted that we abort the baby. I went into deep depression.
His rejection of the fruit of our love was a huge blow to me. I felt like he was rejecting me instead. I tried to reason with him. I used all that I have to convince him, even threatening to leave him. But he was such a bast**d. I hate him for what he made me do. I hate myself for succumbing to his demand.

I am still depressed.

I felt so dirty, so cheap, and so unloved. And where is he? He has not come home for the last ten days.

I am seriously thinking about our future. I am seriously thinking about leaving.

I need help......................

Friday 16 February 2007

Back home at last....


Long Week...

Just got back from a trip of rather unpleasant circumstances. I'm jetlagged and emotionally exhausted. But, if asked - my answer will still be the same "I will do that again - travelling half the world to be by the bedside of a friend in need".

Time to jump into bed and rest up. Have to finish reading the novel I picked up at the Heathrow airport. Anyone care to join me when I am ready to doze off? ;)
My hubby Rick won't be back from his business trip to Japan until tomorrow evening. I am only faintly hoping that he stop over at my place before going over to his first wife - as he always do after a long overseas trip.
I can do with a real dick between my legs. Even for a quickie.

xoxo

Thursday 8 February 2007

Home Coming

You may call me by any bad names if you so wish. I was acting like a realy hungry nympo, hungry for his meat, and hungry for waves of orgasmic pleasure. Perhaps, it was my jelousy of his first wife which gave me such animal energy and vampire like tenacity.

He came home this morning - when I was still sleeping. He sneaked into my our marital bedroom, and he woke me up pulling my pyjamas pants down. When his pants came down his cock pounced up and popped in from behind. Ahhh lovely, lush and sweet. We rocked there as waves of pleasure and sweetness rode the edges of my body. He snuggled next to me - pulled the duvet to cover us both and our eyes closed for another few hours of sleep. We did not talk much. He murmured some words to the effect of saying he missed me. Like fuck he did - he was away for six nights. Probably fucking his first wife every night, while I was keeping mrVibro happy.

Later that morning I’m tugging at his pants, and pull them down around his hips. I plunge my lips over his cock, and suck him and jerk him until he’s hard as a rock. He’s moaning so fine. Phone ringing, my cousin sister on her way - as promised to pick up to go to the hair-dresser. How was I to know he was coming home. I take his cock in my mouth again, while he grabbed my hair and took control of the rythm. Then I motioned him to lie on his back. Riding my baby brings me the sweetest pleasure! We’re fucking fucking fucking loving sweet, and I come over and over. The one to mention is when he rocks me pushing my ass up and down on him. He turns me over and grinds hard, and comes.

It was so beutiful.....it made me forgave his absence.

Monday 5 February 2007

Geram...

For the fifth night he has not come back. It is supposed to be my turn tonight. I have been horny for the whole day, anticipating his return.
But - here I am alone!

*sigh*

I am determinded not to be deprived of my orgasms. Reached for the side drawer - took out mrVibro - once, twice, three times - and I collapsed into a deep sleep with my anger subdued.

*please come home honey - I prefer the real thing*