Black days

I was admitted to hospital. At first for Dengue. Then while in there, the doctor broke the news to me - I was pregnant. I was thrilled, but only temporarily. When Rick knew about the pregnancy, he insisted that we abort the baby. I went into deep depression.
His rejection of the fruit of our love was a huge blow to me. I felt like he was rejecting me instead. I tried to reason with him. I used all that I have to convince him, even threatening to leave him. But he was such a bast**d. I hate him for what he made me do. I hate myself for succumbing to his demand.

I am still depressed.

I felt so dirty, so cheap, and so unloved. And where is he? He has not come home for the last ten days.

I am seriously thinking about our future. I am seriously thinking about leaving.

I need help......................